I went to dinner by myself tonight and took my journal with me... Since my laptop isn't functional right now I'm not blogging much. So, I figured I would put some of my journal entry tonight on here for you all...
(For the sake of humor and input I will add any words not originally in my journal entry in italics)
January 14, 2009
Right now I am sitting in Boulder, Colorado on a ski trip. This trip has been great so far - very fun and surprisingly liberating. I have found that I really enjoy the ski racing scene, especially the college races. People are upbeat, passionate and organic. They seem to be free thinkers that are educated and experienced in life. I feel like I thrive when I am around these type of people. I like people who are passionate about something, who have experianced life and embrace the chance to experiance more, who have realized through their experiances that there are powers greater than themselves... but yet through that knowledge understand that their life experiance will grow exponentially when they spend time and energy enjoying these things which seem to feed you at the very core of your being.
Ski racing has a lot of foreigners (some of which are incredibly good looking, especially those coaches from New Mexico and Alaska!!)... and some of them seem to really thrive in this mentality. Maybe it is that they have been pushed to grow and learn at such a rapid rate. Obviously it wouldn't be easy to move half way around the world - even if it is for a sport you love.
I am also really enjoying Boulder. For the first time I think I am understanding this town. Boulder, Colorado is nestled up against the Rocky Mountains. They have a state university here and they embody a desire to enjoy nature and never stop learning. In Boulder it isn't about impressing your neighbors, it is about consistently wowing yourself. It can be "crunchy" here, but I don't think that is what draws people back to the basics - actually I think it is exactly opposite. By people going back to what feeds, stimulates and touches them at their core they become who they truly want to be and live the life they have always dreamed of living. Boulder isn't only a home for the "granolas" or ski-bums, it has a fun nightlife, great resturants, awesome boutique shops, many galleries that hold breathtaking creative genuises and a great splash of pretty much anything you could ever want to find. People here understand variety, they understand that through variety you experaince and learn.
The more I try to truly find myself the more I see that this is the type of person I enjoy being. I enjoy experiancing life to the fullest. It is a constant effort not to coast or merely survive; but if is energy very well spent. I am also finding that the more I discover myself the more I understand the value and potential of my relationship with my Heavenly Father. He made me, he made these things I enjoy, he knows what makes me tick and I know he gets a kick out of watching me discover, enjoy and embrace the world around me.
I live an individual life and he designed it that way. It dosen't have to be similar to the one lived by the girl next door, nor should it be. I see now the importance of being around people that inspire me.
As I date I find that I am drawn to passionate, successful men. Successful dosen't necessarily equal money, car or possessions... but being successful in fiding what they are passionate about and running with it. People have tried to hook me up with people that are "just like me and share all the same interests." You know... usually that dosen't captivate me. If I wanted my clone I would date myself. Instead I want to spend time with someone who can teach me, inspire me and seek out adventures with me. The benefits of both of us brining life's experiances to the table could be awesome... I want someone who would be an awesome co-pilot on all OUR adventures in life.
I don't want someone who is along for the ride, I want someone who seeks out the ride.
I thought I had found someone like that, we literally fell into eachothers lives. I thrived on his creativity and origninality. But he wasn't ready for adventures together... he said he needs to do his own thing right now. I'm trusting that things happen for a reason. Heavenly Father told me to be patient... (I'm not sharing SOME of this with you... some of this is a bit personal.)
... When I do get to share a life with someone I hope they are ready and willing to live the organically fabulous life that is possible. I want to embrace everything actively and get as much as I can... and I'm excited to be able to have someone to do it with.
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