Sunday, February 15, 2009

Valentines Day -- It Seems to be all about Distance

Yesterday was Valentine's day and for me it seemed to be a day of feeling like everyone was physically really far away.

I talked to quite a few friends who has their "significant others" out of town/state/country. I heard how hard that was for them and assured them that it was, indeed, horrible.

I was able to talk to a friend of mine who is overseas. He had a hard day... it was emotional for me to see him as well. I didn't expect to get that choked up about things, but I did. He called me to see if I could get online and chat.... a phone call from Iraq suprisingly dosen't SOUND like it is coming from halfway around the world. I told him I would get online in a second and to not waste his calling card. I got online to chat with him for awhile and quickly realized he was struggling today. He wouldn't talk to me about it, instead said "it was just a hard day at work, nothing you need to worry your sweet little head about."

I have always been grateful for the troops serving overseas and have known a few of them that have gone over there; but I haven't had the contact with them like I do with Brett. It feels personal now, I get it. These guys give a lot, I'm grateful... my heart goes out to them. Last night I couldn't help but tear up as I saw him on webcam, sitting on his bed, in his fatigues, his dogtags around his neck, a look of exhaustion and emotion on his face... I didn't believe him when he said he was "ok," but I quickly recognized that he wasn't 'ok' enough to talk about it either. Not yet. He finally went to bed at 5:00 am, his time... 9:00 pm, my time.

Valentine's night was still young, unfortunately.

I put in a call to one of my favorites, he was still at work and gave me a hurried, "Baby, I'll call you back, I'm still at work. Happy Valentine's Day!!! I'll call you back." and hung up before I could wish him well. I went up to the parents to go get my dog. I was feeling a little worn out all the sudden... I needed my dog back.

I hung out up there for a bit and collected my 'wagging little bundle of love' and headed back to the house which was finally quiet (sometimes it's great that my roommates act like grandma's and go to bed at 9:30 pm).

As I was getting ready to crawl into bed I got the phone call I had been waiting for. We were both exhausted, it was wayyy too short, but I got to hear his gorgeous voice. I went to bed content, yet wishing that by some miracle I could be in Atlanta...

Sometimes this world is small, incredibly small... and sometimes it seems impossibly big. Last night, it was big, gigantic in fact. The distances between people was great, but hopefully the emotion and love they were willing to share found its way to where it needed to go.

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