Watch Out World! I'm Hitting the Road!!!

Tonight I'm sitting at work and planning trips. That's right, plural... tripS.

Starting this weekend I will be out of town for approx three weeks.

I get to spend a few days down in Southern Utah... I have been researching hikes in Zions for at least a couple hours tonight and I'm getting really excited. I am excited to see it and take in the "spirituality" of the area that so many people talk about.... not to mention how stoked I am to get to wear sandals!!!

I have picked out a few hikes for the family... the must-do fairly simple hikes, Emerald Pools, Narrows Riverwalk and the Weeping wall.

My coworker showed me Angels Landing. I'm captivated. Sure, people have died there and the warnings keep telling me that it is a STRENUOUS hike. I have watched youtube videos of it and no doubt it's insane. But it's captivated me. I MUST do this hike. I know it will be incredibly challenging and I will probably think I am going to die... but I know the end result will be absolutely breathtaking and it will only be bolstered by a great sense of accomplishment. I am contemplating making Owen wake up really early and go with me... I need to do this hike, sooner than later hopefully.

(seriously folks, google/youtube "Angels Landing in Zions National Park" -- it's amazing)

When I get back I quickly leave for Winter Park, Colorado. The ski team has nationals and we will be there for a week. While I'm gone I need to finish my courses... finish all three 30-page papers and study for my finals.

The day after I get back from Colorado I have to take all three finals in the morning and that afternoon fly out for Paris/Morocco!!!!

I have been researching hotels all night long and the possibilities are endless!! Do I care more about location, food, historic accuracy, cleanliness, friendly staff, etc... Shoot, just give me a place I won't get shot, somewhere that will help if I need it and dosen't have bugs.... How do I type that into expedia?? :)

I am getting more and more excited. I keep reading reviews and seeing things like "Snake charmers, monkey men and markets by day and dinner food stands by night." or "You will be required to eat with your hands. If you can't master this they may offer you eating utensils, if they have any." or "You will be captivated by new sights, sounds and smells. Be prepared to bargain for the goods, they will be offended if you don't." and "Don't be suprised if you are invited to a personal residence for dinner. This happens often and is a sign of respect and hospitality. Once you are there be prepared to be offered huge amounts of delicious food. Don't try to pay them for the evenings festivities, this will only highly offend. Instead, take a small gift; this is the kindest thing you could do to someone offering such hospitality."

Honestly, I can't wait. I'm ready to explore. I'm itching to experiance what the world has to offer.

Sure, these next three weeks will be INSANELY busy... but well worth it. I can't wait.

I'll take thousands of pictures I'm sure. I'll keep you all updated... You all know how I love bragging about what I think is cool. haha.

P.S. Don't think you can go rob the place... I have roommates now you know. :)

Physical Phenomenon

WARNING: TMI (too much info) ALERT!!!!

I've been trying really hard lately to take better care of myself, eat right, be more active...

I've been keeping a food journal, exercise journal, measurements, etc.

Yesterday my measurements showed my chest got bigger by two inches.

I also lost four pounds this week... more than any other week thus far; bringing my total to 12 pounds since the beginning of the year.

Usually when people gain weight their boobs are the first to go, right?? Well, so far everytime I've lost even a little weight my chest gets bigger... no doubt this is becasue my muscles underneath are getting bigger...

But the question remains, at which point will my chest start to shrink as well??

It would be a crying shame to lose a bunch of weight and have an EVEN BIGGER chest.

Don't worry, I'll keep you posted. :)

Short Sheeted

I got home last night after being on the road for five days. Owen and Matt had cleaned up the garage so I had TONS of room to park! Sooo nice!! Then I walked into the house and to my suprise it was SOOO CLEAN!! I was so tickled. I sent them a text message thanking them profusely and telling them how happy I was with it. (Positive reinforcement at it's finest... hopefully it pays off).

I brought in my bags and got ready to slide into bed... MY bed... how wonderful. My bed was made, which usually meant it was occupied while I was gone. Not a prob. It was made so nicely!

I pulled back the comforter, pulled back the quilt below, pulled back the top sheet and went to crawl in. I spun my legs in and went to extend them into bed..... what the??!!?... what is going on here??!!!....

Yes, my loving brother had short sheeted my bed.

They got me. Got me good. I saw the rest of the house beautifully clean and was sooo excited. They knew they were catering to me, I like the place clean. Ohhh, did they cater... and got me good. Short sheeted... hahaha.... Good one boys. Warning: now it's game on. :)

Note: don't know what short sheeting is? See here: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=short%20sheet

Oxygen? Water? -- Whatever, Both are Necessities

Right now I'm kicking it in yet ANOTHER awesome little ski town. I am traveling with my ski team and we are almost done with our four day excursion in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. I am really loving all these little ski towns that I am getting to visit. They are lovely, kitchy and just overall interesting.

Today I had some extra time after our races and I decided to go walk main street. I wandered from shop to shop and managed to not buy a single thing! Although, there was this really cool shoulder bag that was made out of an old tire intertube... it was actually rubber and held together with silver studs -- soooo cool!! The thought of having a bag I could set down in the mud and then hose off just seemed fantastic. Not sure if it was $68 worth of cool, though.

I went into a small little winter sportswear store and was looking at their sales racks and seeing if anything jumped out at me. I heard three woman talking over the clothes racks with THICK southern drawls.

One of them asks the other, "What is this?"

"It's a backpack." (Remember to enter in the huge Southern accents)

"Noooo, What IS THIS?"

"It's a backpack!"

"Nawwwhhhh! What IS this THAANG? I saw a gal today with THIS attached to her mouth??!!?!"

Alright, what in the HELL are they talking about? I turn around and see her holding up a camelbak backpack and she is holding out the water tube telling the other that it was attached to this girl's mouth.

Her friend says, "Ohhhh, that is for oxygen."

She replies in horror, "AAAhHH! I didn't even THANNK of that!! Do we need oxeegen up here?"

I muffled my giggle and spoke up before they ran out to buy oxygen tanks (seriously, we are only at 6,800 feet). I explained, "That is a camelbak, it has a compartment inside that you can fill with water and that tube is so you can drink the water while you are snowboarding, skiing, hiking, whatever."

She replies, "AAAHHH!! Well, isn't that clever. What a great idea!! I'm sure you get thirsty doing those thangs!"

I smiled, "Yes, you tend to get thirsty." Then I quickly finished my browsing and left the store so they could shop in peace... no doubt wasting time (and money) until their kids, and possibly husbands, got off the slopes and they could go back to their 5-star hotels.

I burst out laughing as soon as I got outside the store and quickly called Owen to tell him the story.... honestly, hilarious. Oxygen?? Hey, maybe they are onto something. Patent anyone?

LEGS . SORE . WHEW . P90X

Yesterday was kind of a rushed day and I wasn't able to get in a workout... I hadn't worked out in a couple days and I was feeling it... not to mention my caloric defecit was taking a severe hit.

Poppa suggested I take a p90x video to work with me. I agreed it was a good idea. He suggested the "plyometric" video. Now, I've done a few p90x videos already. I'm not following the dedicated plan but instead using the videos to supplement when I can't get to the gym or am simply sick of the same routine. So, I thought I knew what to expect.

When Poppa gave me the DVD's for Christmas he put on the cover one of the taglines from the workouts, "Do your best, forget the rest." That's how I've looked at p90x ever since I started. Obviously I'm not going to be able to do all of this, especially not right away... but I do what I can and I am working on it.

Last night the plyo video KICKED MY TRASH!! There were times when I chuckled out loud at some of the things that he wanted us to do. Have you ever tried to do jump squats for 60 seconds straight and then go straight into tuck jumps for 60 seconds straight?? Oh, and all that is right in the middle of other insane stuff... Yeah, this lasts 60 minutes.

Honestly, it was brutal... but I loved it. I like feeling like I pushed my body as hard as I can and on top of that I love that I burn a ton of calories doing it. Today I'm feeling it. My quads are SUPER SORE. I worked out today and know that it helped to pump out some of the lactic acid... I can't even IMAGINE how sore I would be if I hadn't worked out!! Uggh!!

I'm glad that tomorrow is "Mermaid Class." (For all of you that don't know... Mermaid class = deep water aerobics. Mom started calling it Mermaid Class back when I started bringing her with me. Deep water aerobics can be done with a float belt, or without - like I do it. Sounds easy?? Try treading water for 60 minutes while doing exercises that try to drown you. It's a workout if you make it one.)

The low impact and fluid movements of Mermaid Class will bring peace to my soul, not to mention quads.

Another perk of doing a p90x workout at midnight? I updated my facebook status to inform everyone of my insanity and got awesome support from some guys that I totally respect, especially when it comes to working out... Praise is definately great motivation.

Valentines Day -- It Seems to be all about Distance

Yesterday was Valentine's day and for me it seemed to be a day of feeling like everyone was physically really far away.

I talked to quite a few friends who has their "significant others" out of town/state/country. I heard how hard that was for them and assured them that it was, indeed, horrible.

I was able to talk to a friend of mine who is overseas. He had a hard day... it was emotional for me to see him as well. I didn't expect to get that choked up about things, but I did. He called me to see if I could get online and chat.... a phone call from Iraq suprisingly dosen't SOUND like it is coming from halfway around the world. I told him I would get online in a second and to not waste his calling card. I got online to chat with him for awhile and quickly realized he was struggling today. He wouldn't talk to me about it, instead said "it was just a hard day at work, nothing you need to worry your sweet little head about."

I have always been grateful for the troops serving overseas and have known a few of them that have gone over there; but I haven't had the contact with them like I do with Brett. It feels personal now, I get it. These guys give a lot, I'm grateful... my heart goes out to them. Last night I couldn't help but tear up as I saw him on webcam, sitting on his bed, in his fatigues, his dogtags around his neck, a look of exhaustion and emotion on his face... I didn't believe him when he said he was "ok," but I quickly recognized that he wasn't 'ok' enough to talk about it either. Not yet. He finally went to bed at 5:00 am, his time... 9:00 pm, my time.

Valentine's night was still young, unfortunately.

I put in a call to one of my favorites, he was still at work and gave me a hurried, "Baby, I'll call you back, I'm still at work. Happy Valentine's Day!!! I'll call you back." and hung up before I could wish him well. I went up to the parents to go get my dog. I was feeling a little worn out all the sudden... I needed my dog back.

I hung out up there for a bit and collected my 'wagging little bundle of love' and headed back to the house which was finally quiet (sometimes it's great that my roommates act like grandma's and go to bed at 9:30 pm).

As I was getting ready to crawl into bed I got the phone call I had been waiting for. We were both exhausted, it was wayyy too short, but I got to hear his gorgeous voice. I went to bed content, yet wishing that by some miracle I could be in Atlanta...

Sometimes this world is small, incredibly small... and sometimes it seems impossibly big. Last night, it was big, gigantic in fact. The distances between people was great, but hopefully the emotion and love they were willing to share found its way to where it needed to go.

Poop on My Shoe

I have horse poop on my shoe.

Today I went down to rodeo practice (I'm starting to help those boys out) and had a lovely time. There are a bunch of boys down there who are all beat up and are trying to take care of themselves... hopefully I can help them out some.

After practice I stood and talked with a couple of them for about 45 minutes... we will see if they are compliant with my instructions. If they are like most athletes they probably won't be. haha.

However, I got to sit in an arena and watch bronc riding for 1 1/2 hours. Not too shabby!! It's fun to be around this lifestyle again. When we left the farm when I was 15 I turned into a lot more of a city girl and since then I've continued being a city girl. Getting back in the dirt brings me back to those roots... on some level I feel like I'm returning home.

In Memory Of - JEREMY LUSK

For the past two years I have had the great privilage of working the AST Dew Tour in Salt Lake City. Some of my most favorite times have always been when I'm out on the dirt with the FMX (freestyle motocross) boys.

After standing and watching every practice run, every competition and working with these guys in medical and in the staging areas... you begin to get your favorites. Right from the very beginning I liked Jeremy Lusk.

His personality is magnetic, his smile is charming and his riding... well his riding is out of this world.

Last Saturday evening he crashed while competing in Costa Rica, today he passed away surrounded by his parents, wife and brothers from the Metal Mulisha Crew while still in ICU in a Costa Rica hospital.

Jeremy, you will be missed... the tour (let alone FMX as a whole) won't be the same without you. I'll miss waiting for your runs and silently cheering you on while I try to appear non-biased. We'll miss you....

Here are a few great videos of Jeremy.

This one is a highlight video from one of his' sponsors websites: http://www.osirisshoes.com/teams/fmx/jeremy-lusk/

Here is a memorial video done by SkullCandy - another sponsor of Jeremy's: http://www.grindtv.com/blog/1752/skull-candy-tribute-to-jeremy/

News stories:

SAN JOSE, Costa Rica (AP)—Jeremy Lusk, an American freestyle motocross rider, died of head injuries Tuesday after crashing while trying to land a backflip in competition. He was 24.
Jorge Ramirez, chief of the intensive care unit at Calderon Hospital, said Lusk suffered severe brain damage and a possible spinal cord injury.
Lusk won a gold medal at the 2008 X Games. He was injured Saturday night when he failed to complete a full rotation while attempting a Hart Attack backflip and slammed headfirst into the dirt. Lusk crashed in almost identical fashion in the freestyle semifinals at the 2007 X Games but was not hurt.
He had a successful 2008 season, winning Freestyle gold at the X Games and silver in Best Trick when he landed the first double-grab Hart Attack backflip. He won a bronze helmet in Freestyle at the Moto X World Championships in his hometown of San Diego.
“Jeremy motivated me to be a better person, he was my best friend,” said Brian Deegan, the founder of Lusk’s riding group Metal Mulisha. “One day, we will all be reunited and will ride together again.”
Chris Stiepock, the vice president and general manager of the X Games franchise, said Lusk “had emerged as one of the world’s best freestyle moto riders.”
“He was a tremendous athlete and competitor and represented the sport of freestyle motocross very well,” Stiepock said.
Ramirez said Lusk died with his parents and his wife, Lauren, at his side.
“He was in a medicine-induced coma as a protective measure, and the medicine was being reduced to see how his body responded,” he said. “That didn’t mean he was going to wake up. He was in shock and that got worse last night, until he stopped responding and entered into cardiac and respiratory failure.”
Lusk lived in Temecula, Calif.
A trust has been set up in his memory, and donations can be made through the Athlete Recovery Fund, www.athleterecoveryfund.com.

Blogs, BLOGS, and MORE BLOGS!!!

I have blogs coming out my ears... I have my own blog. Then my Mom decided we needed a family blog to list our family memories (see the "Remember When" link over here on the right side of the page) ----------------->

Now I have also been invited to post on Hope and Trey's new blog that is dedicated to their dancing... (also see the link over there for "Dance Baby, Dance")

I have authored all these new posts and none of them are on MY blog. So, sorry guys. I'll get better.... But for now, please feel welcome to visit my other family blogs!! They are pretty stinkin' fun, ESPECIALLY if you know all of us crazies.

DONUTS!! AHHH!!

A lady brought us donuts and chocolate milk at work today thinking she was being SOOO kind. Instead, I'm ticked.

I have really been trying to watch what I eat and get more active and so far it has been paying off. I have lost seven pounds in the last four weeks (please keep your applause to a dull roar) and donuts are not going to help keep me on this path.

I'm trying to keep myself distracted and full with other yummy foods that I brought to work today... like the kiwis I have waiting for me in the fridge!!! mmmm :)

Unfortunately, I have to walk right by those hellacious donuts to get to my beloved kiwis.

"Getting to know you" -- From Grandma

1.What is your occupation right now? Athletic Training/ Sports Medicine - awesome!

2.What color are your socks right now? bare tootsies, its the only way.

3.What are you listening to right now? the fan blowing and my fingers typing

4.What was the last thing that you ate? the boys made an awesome burrito last night!! yummy! Thanks guys!

5.Can you drive a stick shift? yes... I grew up on a farm. Out there you don't exist if you can't drive a stick.

6.Last person you spoke to on the phone? Mom, she sure is a talker!

7.Do you like the person who sent this to you? Absolutely! She's my grandma!

8.How old are you today? 27

9.What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? um, prob football. I love hockey, but hockey is just flat out better in person. Baseball on TV.... ughh... but again, awesome in person!

10.What is your favorite drink? lately it's been water... I like the simplicity of it and the fact that it's zero calories. haha. Other than that I really enjoy lemonade!

11.Have you dyed your hair? yep, but I've never strayed too far from my normal color. Prob only a shade or two different.

12.Favorite food? I could probably live off of chinese food.

13.What is the last movie you watched? Um, pretty sure that was "Twilight." Night out with the sisters....

14.Favorite day of the year? humm, hopefully there are more than one! I enjoy a lot of days... but especially when we are doing something great as a family or I'm doing something I really enjoy or have been looking forward to. Gezz, that is a hard question!

15.How do you vent anger? tell everyone else how pissed I am.

16.What was your favorite toy as a child? I didn't play with toys as a kid... my mom says I was born an adult. When my sister was born all the toys were still in perfect condition, some of them in the box even.

17.What is your favorite season? Fall, I love the leaves changing and the cold night, yet warm days. I like the little drizzles of rain and the anticipation of winter!!! Its also a really welcome change after the blistering heat of summer.

18.Cherries or Blueberries? Humm, depends. Blueberries if they are in something else. Cherries if they are eaten fresh out of the bag on a warm summer day (yet the cherries are still kind of cold).

19.Do you want your friends to e-mail you back? Well, this is on my blog... so no, I don't expect any emails.

20.Who is the most likely to respond? n/a

21.Who is least likely to respond? n/a

22.Living arrangements? My brother moved in the beginning of the summer and we also have two roommates for the next few months. (love live the dream of being snowboard bumms). So, I live with three boys ages 20-21. They are good to me tho, I can't complain... I do clean A LOT tho.

23.When was the last time you cried? Last Monday, maybe Tuesday. Still dealing with some really raw emotions from a pretty crappy experience... but I've felt it through now. I'm good.

24.What is on the floor of your closet? My dog's bone. I don't know why, but he likes it in there.

25.Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? not sending it to anyone. that is the beauty of a blog! :)

26.What did you do last night? Went to rodeo practice (going to start helping them with some sports medicine a little bit) and ate a good burrito that the boys made for dinner.... watched some TV with Owen and talked on the phone with Bill for awhile, he's always a treat.

27.What are you most afraid of? Never finding what I'm looking for.

28.Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Cheeseburgers... with a little bit of BBQ sauce. mmmm.

29.Favorite dog breed? Australian Shepherds, I used to raise them and still "awww" when i see them.

30.Favorite day of the week? Any day that is "mine," which changes from time to time.

31.How many states/provinces have you lived in? Four. Indiana, Colorado, Washington state and Utah.

32.Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds. I'm actually don't like pearls (for me personally, I think they look great on other people).

33.What is your favorite flower? A variety, like the "exotic assortment" type bouquets. The ones with lillies and shooting stars, etc. I don't like roses.

FYI: No Cute Guys at the Riverwoods Barnes and Noble

The other night I headed to the bookstore to get a few travel guides for my awesome trip coming up (see previous post re: Paris and Morocco). I have always heard that bookstores are good places to meet guys, so I brushed my hair again, made sure I looked decent.... and I headed out.

I hardly got through the door and was accosted by the shelves of "bargain books." They were cookbooks... I was in trouble. I immediately saw a few Chinese food cook books. I have always loved asian food and have wanted to learn how to make it... How could I pass up an awesome Chinese food cookbook? Especially when they were priced so fabulously? So I grabbed the top contenders and decided to weed through them when I was done browsing.

That's right, I said browsing... any time I use that word I know I'm in trouble.

By the time I was done browsing I had picked up about five travel guides to choose between, four chinese/asian food cookbooks, a packet of cards and a food/diet journal.

For the first time in my life I actually sat down in the middle of a bookstore and looked through my options. Yes, I have turned into that girl that sits and reads in a bookstore....

I finally decided on one cookbook, one travel guide for each of my destinations, my notecards and my food journal. That is a much larger purchase than I was planning on... I need to stop "browsing." My pocketbook takes a hit whenever I do.

p.s. No cute guys at the bookstore... apprently only hillbillies and really old men go to the Riverwoods Barnes and Noble. Now I know that next time I can go in my sweats. :)

All For One (Well, two...)

As far as I'm concerned if one of us is involved in something we all are. Hope is big into ballroom dance (with her partner/boyfriend Trey); therefore, we are ALL big into ballroom.

Hope and I have always partnered together to design and make her ballroom dresses right from the start. The better she has gotten the more extravagant her dresses have gotten. Now days she has the dresses custom made but brings them to me to stone. (stone = glue thousands of crystals on with adhesive bought at Home Depot)

The first dress that I stoned for her was an animal print dress that took over 3,000 stones, coming in at just over 11 hours of work.

This fringe dress was actually found and altered by yours truly. It looks fantastic on Hope and she recently decided she wanted stones on it. That's where I come in. One morning Hope showed up on my bed (while I was sleeping after a night shift) and we let our creative juices start flowing. We decided on shapes; squares, triangles and circles. We now lovingly refer to this dress as her "pre-school dress."

I hear there is another dress arriving in a week or two that needs my "magic." I'm excited to see it and see what I can come up with. I love watching Hope dance in the dresses and see how they actually look on the floor. I enjoy feeling like I'm a part of things and I really enjoy supporting her.

The funny part is that after I'm done stoning a dress I find stones for days, sometimes weeks. During the stoning process some of them get away from me and no matter how much I clean a few of them stick around. I found another one in the living room just the other day.

Here is Hope and Trey in the competition just the other day. They took first!! Congrats you two!! Love ya!

Draper Temple Open House

On Monday I went to the Draper Temple open house. I got tickets awhile back and had enough for most of my family to go. It was good to be with everyone.

My feelings through the open house were not at all what I expected. I've been trying to figure out how I feel about this whole church thing lately. I've been trying to do a lot of the things I "should" do. I thought my feelings surrounding the temple would be different than they were. I was suprised to be honest.

Recently I had someone in my life make me feel like I wasn't good enough. They based that on my activity in the church. I regret it now, but at the time I let it get to me. I felt like I had to prove myself. I should have never let myself get that low.

I realize now that they pulled out the church card becasue they were too weak to be honest with other things. It wasn't me. It wasn't that anything was wrong with me. Because honestly, if they truly knew me they would know that my spirituality is very robust and strong.

Unfortunately, that day as I walked through the temple it was all very raw for me. Even tho I have completely written that person out of my life (and no longer grieve about it), I still struggled with the fact that I ever let them make me feel that way. As I walked through the temple that day it ate at me...

I find myself angry with it now.

The temple was really pretty tho. It had a lot of gorgeous accents and was well done. Temples are always like that.

I have been thinking about it a lot tho. I remember when I went through the Vatican in Rome. I was impressed with it all. Yet I couldn't help but feel that all that wealth could be used better elsewhere. There are so many needs in the world, I'm not quite convinced that having all that wealth in one area is putting it to good use.

I am starting to feel the same way about temples. I know that they are "A House of the Lord." But would he really want to live that extravagantly? He was, and I beleieve always will be, a humble man. He was giving and caring. Wouldn't he support using that wealth somewhere else?

There are so many people that could benefit from it....

I am all infavor of making the temples beautiful and elegant. Only the best for the Lord... but do we really need to import granite and wood from Africa and China? What's wrong with what we have here in Utah?? Do the brides really need jewels on the handles of the lockers in the brides room? Come on girls... get over yourselves. Feed children in Africa instead. :)

Locks of Love

So, I did it. I have been thinking about it since last fall. The last time I was in to see my stylist she suggested we wait until after Christmas... then the next time I came in we would talk about it. She said "by then you will have more length, so it wouldn't be so short."

Locks of Love requires a minimum of 10 inches.

Here it is... Looks like a dead animal. But it still brought some tears to my eyes.

I haven't had my hair this short since I was probably five or six years old. I honestly can't remember having my hair above the middle of my back. All through highschool it brushed my waistband, much like it has for the past month or so.

I have had my short hair for about two days now... and honestly I love it. I darkened it up a bit and added some fun reddish highlights. I knew that I would have to love the color if I was going to get over the loss of the length... I have gotten a ton of compliments and it feels good to have done something to "give back."

I LOVE my hair... I can only hope some darling little girl can enjoy it as much as I do. Err... did. :)

I've been fish slapped

Have you ever had the joy of being slapped in the face with something you never saw coming??

Well, I did. I was informed that the thing I have been pining over was never there to begin with. I'm feeling strangely calm about it.

I was calm and level headed when I was informed of all this, simply stating how I felt. A day or so later the anger kicked in. I REALLY don't appreciate being lied to... and I DEFINATELY don't like being taken for a fool.

However, the benefit of all this is that I'm simply done. I've been praying to be "over it." Now I am, it all happened very quickly actually. The phone convo lasted a meer two hours.

So, in conclusion....

Dear Fish Slapper,
Thanks for being such an incredible jerk. I'm over it. Which is what I've been needing.
Sincerely,
The Amazing Girl (that has been WAYYYY too nice to you through all this)