You know, it's funny... control seems to be the key word lately.
He has blamed me for being too controlling (which, if you know anything about our relationship you probably just laughed out loud), now I see that it's all because he didn't have control.
The minute I started making decisions and putting up boundaries he started grasping at it more and more.... It's annoying, to say the least.
His ways of trying to control me now are downright humorous, yet still very annoying. I want to cut all ties, but he won't let it happen... he seems insistent on dragging me down with him.
News for ya.... NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
On the flip side, the best thing for me to do right now is to start making decisions that REtake control of my life.
I'm fixing finances, redecorating the house, making changes in my career, etc.
I'm working through a pile of self-help books, reassessing and recommitting all over the place.
I'm making decisions for me, big decisions, ones that help me feel like I'm actually moving forward and dealing with this big pile of *%&$ that has been left for me to deal with.
So yes, why is it that it all seems to come back to control??
The good thing is that I'm efficient and smart. I just need to remember that and use it to fix all this.... it's happening. One day at a time.
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