Monday, March 28, 2011

My Promise

When I seperated from my ex almost a year ago I was really struggling. I was struggling with losing everything involved with that relationship that I loved so dearly, and a lot of that struggle came from missing my step-girls.

I have always wanted to have a child of my own, my own flesh and blood and this seperation brought a certain life and a certain death to that dream. When I was in that relationship I thought he would be the father of my child (and he almost was), then when we seperated I realized that I wanted something entirely different.


I was having a hard time and I was really wanting to crochet (even with my injured thumb). So I dug through my yarn and found some that I had tucked away for a few years. I bought it because I thought it was gorgeous, but never knew what I would make with it.... until that day.


I started a baby blanket. With it I made a promise to my future little one(s). I promised them that they would get this blanket one day. I promised them that when they were born into this great world they would be safe. They would be loved. They would be cherished. I promised them that both of their parents would be equally devoted and equally completely in love with them. I promised them that both parents would forever protect them and nourish them physically, emotionally and mentally. I promised them that they would never have to fear their father, and with every stitch of this blanket I made a promise to them that I would pick a man worthy of them.


It is hard to realize that everything you ever wanted is now the same thing you vow to do differently.


I finally finished this blanket. My bumm hand made it a long project, but I finished it about a month ago and honestly, I'm in love with it. I love the basketweave pattern, I love the tight stitches, I love the promise that it holds.


You my dear, are promised here and now, that I will pick for you a home that is full of love, never fear. A home that is full of learning and growth, never abuse and shame.


So here it is, my present to you.