Sunday, July 18, 2010

Alone

Last night I found myself freshly showered, the sharp tingle on my skin from a day in the sun. Sitting on my back deck with the cool summer-night breeze blowing in the dark shadows of the yard. The dogs were playing, my bowl of soup and glass of chocolate milk were more than fulfilling my hunger as I enjoyed a book page by page by page.

I had plans, I had offers for night activities ... but I passed them up and enjoyed my time at home. Alone.

Being alone has been plentiful lately. It's something that came back into my life one horrific night, completely against my will. My life that I loved was ripped from my hands. My home was emptied and now here I am, alone... figuring out what life holds for me and where my next steps should take me.

Last night for the first time I embraced it. It's been difficult to accept that life has changed so dramatically. I've spent my days trying to focus on me, spending time with people that love ME, support ME and care about ME.

I've laughed, cried, flirted and cleaned.

Last night I slept upside down in my bed, simply because the fan caressed my skin more effectively from that angle.

It's a different life. A month can change a lot.

Here I am. Working on me, loving me and surrounding myself with things that fulfill me.

Today.... I've already finished half of my book. BBQ with family and friends tonight. Hopefully buying concert tickets for tomorrow.

Life is good, it has to be. I refuse to progress through it any other way.

1 comment:

Angie said...

I'm so sorry to hear that, Sar! And I totally understand now how it feels to be alone. It's not fun, especially when the rug gets pulled right out from underneath you! Hang in there...